


Bread Alone

by glymr



Series: A Thousand Words [3]
Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Bittersweet, Christmas, F/M, Twelve Days of Fic-mas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-14
Updated: 2009-12-14
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glymr/pseuds/glymr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He misses them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bread Alone

Dick's not sure what drives him deeper into the Batcave, wandering like a lost soul. *He's* Batman now, and he has to be strong enough. Enough for both of them, for all of them. He can't give in to sorrow or fear or anger or sheer frustration or loneliness...

Loneliness.

No, he can't afford to be emotional. And he's had the best example in the world of how to shut yourself off, wall yourself away from that and _keep going_. Of course, he's also seen what that can *do* to you.

It's late. Well...early, really. Alfred's in bed. Even *Damian's* asleep. And here Dick is, exploring the depths of the Cave in his flannel pajamas and bathrobe and slippers, because he can't sleep.

The last room, the deepest in the cave. Dick can't even remember what's stored here, though he probably should. He steps inside and flips on the light, looking around.

It's a plain room, lined with shelves on one wall and large metal drawers on another. On impulse Dick pulls open one of the drawers and is greeted with a flash of red and yellow. Frowning, he lifts out one of his old Robin costumes, wrapped in thin plastic and carefully folded away. His hands tighten on the material for a moment, then he drops it back in the drawer and quickly slides it shut.

He's getting ready to leave the room when another flash of color catches his eye. Most of the books on the shelf are dark binders, but a few colorful ones sit at the end. Taking down the green one, he opens it and sees a younger version of his own face looking back at him and smiling. The picture is captioned with the time, date and location in Tim's neat hand.

Dick remembers this. It was their first Christmas together, him and Alfred and Bruce and Tim. This was Tim's gift to Bruce that year. This and...Dick closes the album and puts it back on the shelf, pulling out the red album and opening it to a random page.

Jason, smirking as he swings one leg up in a kick designed to knock someone's teeth out. Jason, looking exhausted and pained after a long night of patrolling. Jason, asleep or unconscious in Bruce's arms as Bruce tucks him into the Batmobile. Dick slides down to a sitting position, his legs crossed, and starts at the beginning. He looks at each picture, at the time and date and place, and any other notes Tim made about it. There are many, many pictures of Batman and Robin together, but almost none with Nightwing. Slowly it dawns on Dick...Jason never knew Tim, but Tim knew Jason. Tim knew Jason better than _Dick_ did. Jason's expressions grow angrier as he goes on, but on the last page he's smiling again, beaming about some long-forgotten joy. Dick closes the book and closes his eyes.

He should have been there for Jason. He should have been _better_ , not so wrapped up in his own world and problems that he couldn't *see*...

Shaking his head, Dick replaces the book on the shelf...and frowns, because there's another album next to the first two, this one with a yellow cover. Pulling it out, he opens it and...Tim looks out at him.

He looks so *young*. He _was_ young, Dick remembers, when it all started. But Tim never gave an album like this to Bruce, he never _would_ have--

Dick glances at the caption and understands. The writing isn't Tim's.

It's Bruce's.

Dick wonders for a fleeting moment if there were ever plans for an eggplant-colored album.

He sits down again, looking at page after page. Bruce clearly has chosen only the best pictures for this, although sometimes it's obvious he resorted to surveillance footage if he was not there himself. This time there are many pictures of Nightwing along with Robin, working together and playing together. There's Tim heading out to school and Tim grinning at Spoiler. He grows as the pages fall. Where Jason's expression becomes angrier over time, Tim's becomes sadder at first, and then blanker, more closed off. In the first picture of him in his new uniform, the one in red and black, his expression is as flat and emotionless as anything Bruce ever achieved.

He's not smiling in the last picture, but then, Bruce had clearly planned on continuing this album. There are blank pages left at the end. But before he could finish...before...

Slowly, Dick puts the album away.

He misses them.

His surrogate father is dead. His brother is his enemy. His younger brother is gone.

For a long moment, Dick puts his face in his hands.

Then he lifts his head and takes down Tim's album again. Carefully he opens the rings and pulls out a few of the blank pages from the end of the book. He'll replace them tomorrow when he can get more.

He makes his way into the main cave and writes a quick note on Alfred's "To Buy" list:  
 __  
photo album with dark gray cover  
 _more photo album pages_

Then he sits down at the computer and starts looking for pictures of Damian.


End file.
